On July 19th 2012 Tao Lin posted (and has since deleted) a tweet that said
"can someone email me all 2169 my tweets as text in word file with the dates, i’ll mail u $30 of shit from my room email@example.com"
I jumped at the opportunity to be a tao lin intern for a little so I spent 10 minutes scrolling to the bottom of tao lin’s twitter profile, highlighted all of his tweets and pasted them into a word document and sent them to tao. When I did this I was in China. Tao replied soon after and said that I was the first person to send him the file and then he asked for my address. I gave him my parents address to send the 30 dollars worth of shit. When I got home from China a month or so later there was a package from tao waiting at my parents house. The package included a shit load of bumper stickers that said like, “I support the war on America by bath salts”, a copy of Megan Boyle’s book and a packet of paper titled “Deleted from April 10 Taiwan Things” Because his upcoming book is titled taipei I figured these were edits (removals) he made, even before he had the name of the book nailed down. I scanned a couple pages and I am posting them here if anyone is interested in these ‘leaked’ pages. I have more pages if anyone is interested in reading more. You can ask me to scan more and I’ll scan more.
“The way in which [the internet] will dissolve boundaries is by making us transparent. To each other. I mean, I can imagine a child of the future, we all bring home our drawings to stick on refrigerators, and things like that—in the future we won’t stick them on refrigerators, we will stick them in our website. And everything will go into our website. And by the time we’re 25, or something, our website will be the size of the American Museum of Natural History. And you can wander through it. And as a gesture of intimacy you can invite someone else to wander through it. Well that’s who you are—it’s your imagination. And, I think, in a sense, I’ve said, at times, that: The cultural enterprise is an effort to turn ourselves inside out. We want to put the body into the imagination, and we want the imagination to replace the laws of physics. With these technologies we can probably do that. But it’ll have to run on psychedelic design principles, or it’s certain to be a mess.”—Terence McKenna, 1995 (~1:42:20 re “Evolving Times”)
Nick Willard is a versatile artist. In this collection he does a little bit of everything. Alone with guitar, rap, full band, indie rock, even electro Nick covers all bases with this collection of 10 songs ranging from 2 to four minutes. The pop emphasis is loud and clear. Fidelity, that’s a…
I intended to blog a lot about being in China but that hasn’t really happened. There are probably some reasons behind that. Foremost I came to China to work so the majority of my days have followed this schedule:
Put on cloths and brush teeth
Walk 15 minutes to City University of Hong Kong
Sit at my desk and look at stuff online (things that had happened in the US while I was asleep)
Try to do work stuff (write, Matlab coding, reading, emails)
Go to lunch with co-workers
Continue online/work things until 5:30
Go to the gym (on some days)
Go to dinner
Go back to work and do online/work stuff
Go home and either read, write emails to my girlfriend, talk to friends who are just arriving at work in the morning on gmail.
In short I haven’t really been doing anything interesting. I’ve spent a lot of time sitting in front of my computer. I’ve been semi-productive. Hopefully I’ll have a journal paper ready to submit for publication, I’ve written a song on the guitar, I’ve found a girlfriend, I’ve learned a lot of stuff and made some new Chinese friends. But most of this trip has been un-extraordinary.
Un-extraordinary is a bad word to use here. Traveling outside the path that marks your daily routine is bound to surprise you in some way. The air might smell different, the people may act different, you might see some geological structures that look beautiful or odd or make you think weird anthropomorphic things in your head. Just going somewhere can be extraordinary in itself.
When I first arrived in China/Hong Kong, just going to the store felt like an adventure. I don’t know the language so there was some anxiety about how I would buy things or interact with people. I had to open a bank account for my checks from work to get direct deposited into, I had to go to the grocery store and buy things, and I had to use the MTR (metro) to go places. These are all mundane things that would never pass for exciting in your hometown. But when you’re in China it just feels different, for some reason. Some other things that are different about China:
The air quality really does suck. You can actually see the smog hanging around the streets on bad days and you wonder how much sooner you’re going to die because of it.
People aren’t that smart. There’s a stereotype that Asians are really smart. That maybe be so in certain circumstances. The way we measure intelligence is by IQ and ability in mathematics/standardized testing stuff. Yes Asians appear smart by these standards but the problem is that we don’t put enough value on creativity. China has a huge manufacturing base. They also counterfeit the shit out of stuff. This is because they are great at imitating. They work moderately hard and can learn well, but they don’t really come up with shit. I mean fucking Canada has more Nobel laureates than china. China isn’t a place for design or R&D, they just manufacture shit, and over charge white people for cab rides because they don’t know better. A lot of people in China are actually extremely greedy with poor morals. I think communism has stunted creative and moral growth. I wouldn’t really go that far with Hong Kong. I think they are more legit.
In most places you don’t have to take your trey up after your finished eating. Like in food courts, people just leave all their trash and treys on the table and they have workers that come around and pick up after every body. I think this translates somewhat to how people treat the environment, they just throw trash everywhere, it’s disgusting.
People are really thin, and if you aren’t as thin as them they will call you fat. Actually they are very direct in general about how they think about things. It’s actually kinda refreshing to hear so much honesty. I almost wish people in the US were more direct about how they felt instead of sugar coating everything.
It’s really not as communist as you think. I think when it comes to social freedoms yes, I mean they won’t let you get on facebook for Christ sakes (you can in Hong Kong tho) Most of this stuff is about mainland China, I think Hong Kong is legit, just to reiterate. But the government censorship is pretty fucking ridiculous. However, as far as business, I’d say it’s quite capitalist, even to the point where government interferes less often than the US with regards to regulation on trade and environment. This almost leaves more freedom for the business man, but also invites corruption and pollution. But it’s not like how you picture traditional communism where everybody shares everything.
The food is not that good. I always shit liquid for weeks after I go to mainland china and eat. I don’t know why. But stuff like pork stomach, heart, chicken feet, turtle, is all regular food here. I have not once seen general tso’s chicken. Stuff you eat in the US is not Chinese food, and be glad that it isn’t. Dim Sum food (traditional hong kong) is pretty good, there are a lot of dumplings and things that are good.
The water is shitty. I thought it was just mexico that has shitty water that will make you puke if you drink it. Turns out China’s like that too, and probably a lot of places outside the US. Nobody really drinks facet water unless you have been immune to it. But what you’ll find if you come to china is that you will never be able to have ice water. People either drink their water hot or room temperature and that’s because before serving water they always boil it to kill bacteria. That’s another reason why hot tea is so common. Hopefully there isn’t a problem with heavy metals because then I’d be fucked and my brain would be full of lead.
Hong Kong has a New York sort of feel to it and it’s actually a cool place to come. All those anxieties I had about not speaking the language went away for Hong Kong because most people speak English here. People dress really well and in style. I think people have a better style of dress than they do in most places in the US. I get the feeling that a lot of Hong Kong locals have the same sort of reservations about mainland china that I described above.
I have lost whatever kind of structure I was trying to go for, for this document so it’s becoming almost stream of consciousness rambling. I have done some cool stuff besides just go to work. And I don’t hate Chinese people or their culture. I would encourage anyone to come visit. There are a lot of good people in both Hong Kong and china and I was making some brash generalizations.
I spent a week in Beijing and saw the great wall, the forbidden palace, and the summer palace. I also played one of my songs on the guitar at a bar in Beijing and everyone clapped for me which felt nice.
I went to Guilin and Yangshuo which, if you go to China, I would suggest you visit and stay in those places. I liked there more than anywhere in China so far. The scenery is spectacular. Lots of mountains and rivers and the local people seem pretty cool. The economies of those places are pretty heavily supported by tourism so they are relatively accommodating.
I’ve been to Shenzhen a couple times. It is right across the border from Hong Kong. It is a kinda new city and has a lot of factories and prostitutes. I got my hair cut there and went to a wal-mart and a buffet.
I went to Taipei, Taiwan to visit a university. I was on the University Campus the whole time there so I don’t really have much to say about it.
In Hong Kong is where I have stayed most of the time. I have gone out to some of the bars here. They are really cool, there are a lot of white people (US, UK, Austria, and Canada some too) in the bar districts here. The beers are expensive. I’m getting tired of writing so I’m just writing stuff really fast so I can go to bed. I went to this Giant Buddah statue on Lantau Isand on Hong Kong which is really amazing and scenic. I hear there are good hiking trails around here but I haven’t really gone.
"There was a movie made about it," he said before taking a long swig from a pint of Carlsberg. A thunderstorm was moving beautifully into the harbor sending people scurrying about in Brownian paths anticipating the need for shelter. I was 5 beers deep and embraced the small droplets of water that began to grace my cheek. The alcohol was making me feel undaunted and bold.
"If that’s the kinda thing you’re into you can defiantly find it there" Then he made a motion towards the waitress who brought us our check. I had drank twice as much as him so the bill wasn’t split evenly. As I pulled out my wallet I said something about how drinks were much less expensive here than they are on Hong Kong Island. He shook his head agreeingly and admitted to having spent the equivalent of 100 USD there in the past. "That’s why I don’t go out there anymore" he said.
We left the money on the table and moved at a pace between walking and jogging to the MTR. We had gotten along well. He was the first non-Asian I had interacted with since I came to Hong Kong. It’s rare to find someone who has heard of “Protest the Hero” let alone an actual fan. Finding someone who shared an interest in an independent Canadian post-progressive hardcore band, in China was a real surprise and delight. We discussed music and video games; we had both played Skyrim but he was a lot further along than I was. It just felt good to talk to someone who shared the same since of culture and identity.
We both got off at the same stop but went in separate directions after we paid the subway fee and exited the turnstiles. He said to give him a call again the next time I wanted to grab a beer. I said yeah defiantly.
I went up the escalator to the ground floor which lead directly into a mall in the more ritzy part of Hong Kong. I found a coffee shop and bought a tall house to sip while I contemplated my next move.
One of my co-works said she knew a guy who was from New Jersey and thought that I might like hanging out with another American. I hope it wasn’t because my face was perpetually giving off an “I need to be around white people” look. But I agreed to be set up on the platonic blind date. We spoke on the phone and agreed to meet at exit B1 of the Tsim Sha Tsui stop.
I was running about 10 minutes late and texted him to let him know to wait for me. Time had gotten away from me while I was skyping with my girlfriend. I finally arrived at Tsim Sha Tsui and followed the signs to the B1 exit. I walked up the stairs to the street level and immediately spotted a white guy about my age who appeared to be in a state of ‘waiting’. I walked up to him and we exchanged polite introductions and then started walking towards the bar on the harbor. I apologized for being late and he said it was okay and then told me that while he was waiting, an Indian guy on the corner kept trying to sell him hash.
If you go to exit B1 at the Tsim Sha Tsui stop, walk up to street level, take a left and proceed to walk, an Indian or Middle Eastern guy will come up to you and ask you if you’d like to buy something. First they will ask you if you want to buy a suit or a watch. If you don’t act totally uninterested and walk away as fast as you can they will move on through a list of different things that they can sell you. At some point, if you continue to reject their advances they will say “do you need anything? I can get you anything.”
New Jersey said as far as drugs were concerned they could get you coke or hash, but they would really get you anything within reason. You could say something like, “I need a room” or “I need a prostitute” or “I need a hello kitty backpack” and these guys would find it and sell it to you.
As we walked down Nathan Rd we passed the Chungking Mansions which Jersey described as a hub for drug trafficking in Hong Kong. It’s a place that houses a lot of expatiates, predominantly from South Asia, the Middle East, and North Africa.
The movie was Chungking Express
I sat in the coffee shop with the thought that had been injected in my brain. It became nourished by alcohol and a sense of adventure and a longing to feel high. I sat in the coffee shop sipping on my tall black house coffee daring myself to go back to the MTR to Tsim Sha Tsui and to strike up a conversation with one of the black market vendors peddling outside of the Chungking Mansions
This poem is called “Numerically Differentiate Real and Imaginary Impedance data from Electochemical Impedance Spectroscopy Tests on a Lithium Ion Battery in order to Find the Local Minimum and Maximums For Extracting and Fitting Parameters to An Equivalent Circuit Model With A Constant Phase Element"
M = importdata(‘F:\Battery_Testing\Test in PHMC\Seeded fault\EIS\Less Binder\10cycle_100%soc-lfp-eis-l2.txt’, ’ ‘, 19);
Data = M.data;
frequency = Data(:,2);
realim = Data(:,3);
imagim = Data(:,4);
difimpedance = diff(realim)./diff(imagim);
secdifimpedance = diff(difimpedance);
p = size(difimpedance);
p = p(1);
for x = 2:p
dlinflection = difimpedance(x);
z = abs(difimpedance - dlinflection);
p = size(difimpedance);
p = p(1);
for x = 2:p
if and(difimpedance(x-1)>0,and(difimpedance(x)<0,difimpedance(x-1)-difimpedance(x)> 5));
If I wrote a novel it would be called Hey Fuck You Everybody.
I would be the protagonist and I would write from the second person point of view so that you would feel like me.
you’d have a linear
timeline written in
with no appendix.
Your chapters would all be song titles from the Micheal Jackson album Dangerous. Chapter 1 “Jam” would introduce a depressed bourgeois 21 year old from St. Louis in 1904 getting ready for the St. Louis World’s Fair. You would talk about things that you do in your daily life like, masturbating, going on twitter, sitting at work. Anachronism would run rampant in your novel.
you would write no more than 3000 words then give up
IF YOU WANTED TO DO SOMTHING REALLY CRAZY LIKE MOVE TO THE NORTH POLE AND I TRIED EVERTHING TO STOP YOU BUT YOU WOULDN’T STOP BECUASE YOU WERE JUST SO FIXATED ON GOING TO THE NORTH POLE EVEN THOUGH IT MIGHT MEAN CERTAIN DEATH BY FREEZING AND STARVATION I WOULD STILL GO WITH YOU AND HOLD YOUR HAND THE WHOLE TIME AND FIGHT POLER BEARS THAT TRIED TO HARM YOU AND GIVE YOU THE LAST BIT OF WARMTH THAT I HAD IF WE COULDN’T FIGHT OFF THE COLD
NOT EVEN DEATH WILL DO US PART
WE’LL ROME THE EARTH AS GHOST PEOPLE TOGETHER AND HAVE WILD GHOST SEX AND WHEN WE ORGASM THE ROOM WILL SHAKE AND LIGHTS WILL FLICKER AND PEOPLE IN THE HUMAN WORLD WILL KNOW THAT WE ARE LOVERS FOR ETERNITY AND THEY WILL ALSO BE A LITTLE AFRAID BECAUSE WE ARE HAUNTING THEM
Rory woke up two minutes before his digital alarm clock was set to go off. He had become somewhat proud of how reliable his biological clock had become. In the last year he had not been late to work once due to over-sleeping. There were several times when he had been late because he was slow at getting ready or because he had missed the 8am train but never because he had over-slept. Rory still felt sleepy and a little delusional so he lay in bed with his eyes half open trying to remember the dream he had been having that night.
After what seemed like five minutes Rory’s alarm clock started beeping a generic ‘alarm clock’ sounding beep. Rory took in the sound and allowed it to help him clear his head. When he could stand the sound no longer he flipped the switch on his alarm clock and crawled out of bed. He walked over and pressed the ‘power’ button on his laptop then went to his bathroom while Windows loaded.
Rory brushed his teeth in his underwear then he pissed.
Rory went back to his lap top and signed onto Gmail. There was a message from his girlfriend. There was often a message from his girlfriend first thing in the morning because Rory lived in a time-zone opposite his girlfriend. Rory read the message from his girlfriend and it made him feel happy. Rory spent a little under an hour writing a message back to his girlfriend.
Rory walked back to his bathroom and took off his underwear. He turned on the water and made it a comfortable temperature and then flipped the switch so that the water came out of the shower head. Before getting in the shower Rory looked at his naked body in the mirror. He flexed. He looked at his penis. It was flaccid but it was bigger than it normally was flaccid because it was just coming down from the morning wood he had when he first woke up.
Rory got in the shower and cleaned his body and washed his hair.
Rory got out of the shower and dried himself off. He put on underwear, socks, a pair of well fit jeans, and a white generic brand collared shirt that his mom had bought him when he was in high school. Rory started walking to the door and as he walked out of his apartment he grabbed his wallet, keys, a copy of the book ‘the art of fielding’ and the pile of change that was on the dresser near his door.
Rory walked down his stairs and went outside. He was on Hst and he began to walk east toward Maryland Ave. Rory walked with his head down mostly but every once in a while looked up to become somewhat aware of his surroundings. He saw a middle aged man that appeared homeless sitting against a building. Rory noticed that the homeless man had looked up towards him and he suspected that the homeless man would say something nice or desperate to him and ask him for change. Rory put his right hand in his pocket and scooped up the change that he had grabbed off of his dresser before he left his apartment. The change totaled about three to four dollars Rory suspected. As Rory drew closer to the man he pulled the change out of his pocket and placed the change in the homeless man’s hand before the man could even say anything. Rory did this quickly and kept walking. Rory could here the man stammer something to the effect of ‘God bless you.’
Rory walked three more blocks and crossed the street and went into the ‘Pour House.’ Rory imagined for a second that his internal monologue was the narrative of a story and he thought in a third person point of view ‘the pour house is Rory’s favorite coffee shop…and his favorite place to hunt down new business ventures.’ Rory chuckled to himself and stood in line for coffee.
Rory ordered a grande black coffee. He thought to himself that the barista seemed much less attractive than other baristas that he had seen working there. As the girl was turned around pouring the grande coffee, Rory thought to himself that his thought about the unattractive barista seemed a little sexist. Then Rory started to think about the men that worked at the ‘Pour House.’ After thinking about the men that worked at the ‘Pour House’ Rory concluded that this barista seemed much less attractive than other baristas that he had seen working there.
Rory walked with his coffee across the street and down two more blocks east to a pathetic little park. It was not really a park that anyone would find on a map but more of an empty lot that someone had sodded, planted a tree and put in a bench. Rory sat on the bench and read ‘The Art of Fielding’ for several hours.
Rory’s biological clock told him ‘it’s time to go.’ Rory walked west on Hst. He passed several people while he was walking but he was thinking about the book he had just read and did not take any notice to those people. After walking three blocks with his head down Rory looked up and noticed a girl in her 20’s that was maybe 10 steps away from him walking in the opposite direction. He looked at her face and saw that she was looking at him. Rory immediately looked back down to the ground and walked past her. As he was walking he thought ‘I wonder if that girl thought I was attractive or if I was just really tall.’ Rory never thought another thing about that girl again in his life.
Rory kept walking until he came back to his apartment. He went up to his room and put his keys and wallet back on the dresser next to his door and then stripped down to his underwear. Rory went to his closet and pulled out a pair of dark khakis and a long sleeve black v-neck shirt. He put those cloths on and sat on the small couch in his living room and watched the history channel. Every five or ten minutes Rory looked at the alarm clock in his bedroom which he could see from where he was sitting in the living room. When it was time to go Rory walked to the door and grabbed his wallet, and keys off of the dresser near his door.
Rory walked to the Chinatown metro station and took the red line to the Van Ness stop. He had the address of his destination memorized and walked from the metro station down Connecticut Ave. He turned left on a street that had houses with yards on either side.
Northwest DC is known for being a ‘nice area’ and on some of the neighborhood streets lined with big trees and well trimmed front yards it is easy to forget that you are in the District of Columbia.
Rory found the house that he had come to northwest to visit. There was a small metal gate that went up to about Rory’s mid section. Rory went to the gate, opened the gate door, stepped in the front yard and walked on the stone path leading up to the house’s front door. Rory walked carefully up the steps onto the house’s front porch. Rory’s heart rate had been steadily increasing from the time that he was watching the history channel in his own apartment and had now risen to a crescendo where he could actually hear his blood pumping in the back of his ears. Rory reached out to grab the door knob.
A week earlier Rory had been sitting in the ‘Pour House’ reading ‘David Copperfield.’ Rory was at the part where David Copperfield was in the Salem House. Rory had read the same paragraph four times but was no longer able to concentrate on the book as he had become distracted by the conversation of two men sitting at the table next to him. Rory gave up trying to read and instead stared blankly at the open book while maintaining his full attention on the conversation of the two men. Both of the men appeared to be DC business types in their late 30’s. The men where well dressed and expressed a fondness yet unfamiliarity toward each other that led Rory to believe that that the men had met in the coffee shop on a homosexual rendezvous.
Rory had gathered that one of the men (man A) worked in finance while the other (man B) worked for an international lobbying firm. The men had spent several minutes talking about work. Man A had mentioned that he worked 12 hour days but on Friday’s he ‘worked’ from home. After saying that he ‘worked’ from home both men laughed as working from home meant you spent all day on the couch surfing the internet and only respond to urgent emails. Man B said that most of his work involved parties over seas and that he dealt directly with international bankers in the south pacific. Because of this contact he worked nights so that he would be readily available for people working in Chinese Standard Time.
The conversation flowed from the occupations of the two men, to their hobbies and recreation. Man A had expressed a love for fine wine and dinner parties but was also a huge Washington Redskins fan. Man B said he was a Bengals fan which was followed by a playful rivalrous exchange. Man B had gone on to say that he was a collector of sorts and had a most impressive collection of inkwells. Man A expressed interest (which Rory believed to be a false expression because at the time it seemed that not even a gay man could really be interested in something as ho-hum as inkwells) which provoked Man B to describe his prize possession which was a silver double inkwell by Machin & March circa 1895.
The conversation progressed for a total of thirty to thirty-five minutes at which time the men agreed that they had better be leaving. Man B in an effort to extend the relationship invited Man A to his house to view his inkwell collection. He added that ‘his house was in a great location, and felt comfortable enough to leave his doors unlocked’ then he promptly recited his address which Man A typed into his blackberry.
The men exited the ‘Pour House’ and walked in separate directions on H street.
Rory attempted to continue his book but felt exhausted from his voyeuristic experience and instead decided to walk back to his apartment.
That night Rory, in somewhat of a test of his own memory began to recall the conversation he over heard at the coffee shop. Out of interest he decided to look up the silver double inkwell by Machin & March circa 1895 and found this http://www.gilai.com/product_355/Silver-Double-Inkwell-by-Archer-Machin-and-March-1895 Rory wasn’t quite sure why and felt a little embarrassed to admit it, even to himself, but he developed a strange fascination for the silver double inkwell by Machin & March circa 1895.
Throughout the week Rory visited the above URL, and conducted somewhat of an extensive amount of research into collectible inkwells. By Thursday Rory felt that he had to have the silver double inkwell by Machin & March circa 1895 for himself. He replayed the conversation of Man A and Man B in his head several times and considered the facts that Man B:
Owned a silver double inkwell by Machin & March circa 1895
Had disclosed his address to Man A and unwittingly to Rory who had retained the street and house number in his memory
Felt comfortable leaving his door unlocked
Rory began feeling something that could be described by the phrase ‘the stars are aligned’ and that the universe was telling him to go to the house of Man B, walk in the door and take the silver double inkwell by Machin & March circa 1895. Rory felt like an elaborate plan to rob Man B’s house was not necessary. Rory felt that all the details were laid out in front of him in perfect order. Rory began obsessing over the idea and by Monday morning (the morning of Rory’s current situation), Rory had decided to execute his plan.
Rory squeezed the door knob and turned. The door knob remained firmly in place. Rory turned harder, as if the door knob was jammed or just wasn’t working correctly. Rory felt the feeling of tears start to well up inside of him as he was discovering that Man B had indeed locked his door before he left for work.
Rory walked back to Connecticut Ave and walked north to the nearest bus stop. He took the bus stop back to H street. On the bus Rory felt nothing. There were five other people on the bus. They were all much older than Rory. None of them appeared any younger than 40. Rory had no thoughts about any of them. Rory got off the bus at H street and walked three blocks back to his apartment.
As Rory walked past the building next to his own he noticed a middle aged homeless man sitting against the wall of the building. The homeless man was asleep. Rory walked passed the man. Rory imagined himself stabbing the homeless man in the stomach with a 4 inch blade and running away. Rory walked into his building and up to his apartment. He put his keys and wallet on the dresser next to his door. He sat in his bed and pushed the power button and waited for Windows to load. He masturbated to pictures of his girlfriend and then he went to sleep.
For those of you who don’t take the time to click on links in articles, it is footage from a cell phone camera of 4 or 5 middle school kids making fun of their elderly female bus monitor. They make fun of her to the point of tears by calling her a ‘fat ass’ and telling her that her kids should kill themselves (which was ironic because several years ago one of this lady’s sons did happen to kill himself). The video footage was posted on youtube and has become a viral internet sensation. Appalled viewers have decried the middle-schooler’s behavior and had even started a fund-raiser to give miss Karen Klein a ‘vacation of a lifetime’ away from her bus monitor job.
The ‘internet’ has yet again rallied together over a ‘noble’ cause to throw money (over $300,000) at some problem they deem fit. Thanks to this charity, not only is Karen Klein never going to have to work again but she’ll be able to buy her own tricked out bus/chauffeur and set a ‘no one under 18’ age requirement.
Maybe i’m being a little insensitive, but as an adult, if a group of middle school kids were making fun of me I would literally laugh at how insignificant their lives meant to me. Like I hate children, their opinion of me means absolutely nothing. I wouldn’t go home to my wife or girlfriend that night and seek comfort or solace or sympathy that the kids on the bus were making fun of me IM AN ADULT i’m over that. I sure as hell wouldn’t expect a quarter million dollars.
This whole ‘stand up against bullying fad’ just has me pissed off in general. When I was the new kid in 7th grade our buss was crowded, I was the ‘loser’ so kids made me sit on the bus floor, and then they would flick my ears. It sucked, but I got over it. And I wasn’t a weak enough person to want to go home and kill myself. We act as if bullying is some new phenomenon that has just crept up and is a sign of the times, that our country is heading to hell in a hand basket, when the reality is that it is an ancient ritual in which almost every single one of us was a victim at some point in our lives. The only difference is that now our technology is advanced and cheap enough that middle school aged kids have the means to carry pocket sized camcorders to school and document the things that the rest of us have already pushed out of our minds (try to think back at some of the f’ed up displays of bullying you witnessed in high school). Information sharing has reached a point were a video of a seemingly generic display of human nature, if ‘shared’ enough times by the right people can be viewed by millions, and can pull at enough peoples heart strings to cause wallets to be opened and money to be irrationally dispersed.
Of course I think these kids are dicks. And of course I sympathize for this woman. I just wanted to say that I think she has been more than adequately compensated. Also as the article I posted mentions. The 13 yr old kids in the video (thanks to the internet) are now receiving 1000s of death threats and hate messages. I think justice has been served.
Do you believe morality is universal, or relative?
My answer to this question is relative, on okcupid, after you have checked an answer, you can then mark which answers you will accept and specify how important this answer is for you to assist okcupid in helping to identify a potential mate. I chose that the only answer I am willing to accept is relative and marked the importance as ‘very important.’
I think that anyone who answers universal has either: a) not really considered what this question means and quickly chose whatever word sounded best or b)is a staunch fundamentalist probably with very conservative religious views and feels that the moral code that was dictated to them by some ancient doctrine is the only true means by which a ‘good’ or ‘morally sound’ person may live their life.
I for one think that morality, like any human contrived metaphysical construct (except pure logic), will always be relative in nature. For one, because morality both the syntactical and pragmatic meaning of the word was developed and has only been applied to things of a terrestrial nature, can not be extended to things existing outside this world. Could we expect an alien civilization that has evolved under unimaginably different circumstances to hold the same value system we have here on earth?
But extremities such as science fiction postulations are not necessary to provide evidence for my claims. I think we need look no further than our own earth for proof of morality’s relativity.
Lets begin by trying to apply a Universal definition of morality to all species on the planet. Surely we can all agree (and by all agree i mean anyone who by chance happens to be reading this post) that the act of murder, defined as taking the life of a fully developed, self-sustaining (outside a womb) member of ones own species, is an act that can be considered immoral. Does this mean that we would consider male lions which slaughter all the baby cubs when joining a new pride, ants which fight and kill in territorial disputes, and female mantis which often kill and eat their mate after sex, as immoral animals? I would argue that insects and most likely even lions do not have cognitive functions that are developed enough to consider the morality of their actions. Rather they are acting out of instincts which have been developed though trial and error and natural selection. If animals’ actions are completely dictated by instinct which in essence would suggest they have no opportunity to impose free will, could we then exempt them from judgment on the basis of morality? I think it would be hard to not to answer this question in the affirmative…if you disagree feel free to build tiny insect jails and lock up all the animal kingdom’s convicted felons, however if you did this I would say that it would be immoral for you not to hold each one of these insects to a fair trial in the court of law.
I continue this essay by narrowing my scope (and to some degree my absurdity) to solely the human race, which I assume this question rhetorically was referring. Is there one universal moral code by which all human beings should follow or is it relative; and if it is relative, to what degree? Should a particular set of moral values apply to one species? one country? one race? one family? one individual? Are their certain actions (such as murder) that should be applied universally while others (such as religion) that should be applied relatively? I would say that this hybrid approach most closely embodies the moral code of modern democratic societies. I for one do not claim to have an answer to any of these questions but I do know though observation that there are particular groups that believe their own moral values are truly universal. Several dominate religions are founded on the pillar that only through the acceptance of their particular deity can one achieve favorable moral standing. They believe that those who do not call their god by the same name or associate the same attributes, will be subject to punishment not excluding eternal damnation. There are certain members of certain racial groups who believe that particular words or phrases may only be used by members within that group and the usage of those words/phrases without sufficient ethnic belonging constitutes an immoral offense.
I personally (and do not by any means wish to impose these beliefs on any other person or group) believe that there should be no correspondence between belief and morality or linguistics and morality. No belief, be it theological, political, or ideological should work for against the assessment of a persons morality. Likewise, no word, weather it’s considered by some demographic vulgar, derogatory, or hateful, should define a persons moral character. I believe that actions and actions alone should take complete precedence in the judgement of moral integrity. As to what actions work in the positive and negative direction of the moral spectrum, I am still coming to terms with. Even for such seemingly clear actions such as murder there are countless circumstantial considerations that need to be taken into account; is it a person who has committed atrocious crimes in the past (capital punishment), is it an act of war, would inaction have resulted in the deaths of many more individuals. Every statute is not without unforeseen circumstances which have the potential to change the entire nature of the action’s inherent morality.
As I have answered, I believe that morality is relative. I believe that it is relative to my own circumstances and mine alone. I hold no fault with people who believe otherwise. I hold no fault with people who believe that their morality is universal, as long as their belief and reperation system stays confined within the members of their own group.
There is a certain frequency of light that when observed by the human eye and then interpreted by the human brain, is associated with the color red.
When this color takes on a particular hue, a tint that is vibrant and fierce and pure as only the vast centuries of biological evolution could produce, a particular classification can be made.
But the context is so important. One does not just see a wall in a pastry shop in Bordeaux, which before dulled out by the cigarette smoke of early ages (in recent times we are preserved by a ban on indoor smoking) beamed with an intense red, and think that the color was fabricated from the blood of a man. We have context and situational awareness to inform us of such things.
When an investigator of homicides arrives in a room and sees that remarkable tincture, spattered like an alien web on a white wall, he/she certainly is informed by the context of the situation that this red is indeed human blood.
Red Blood Context Red Paint Context Red…Red
I looked down at a sheet of paper I was holding today and saw the color
I checked my hands and on the soft part on the outside of my left hand below my pinky (the place on the hand of a martial artist that makes contact with a wooden plank during a karate chop) I saw the color.
On the tip of my right ring finger I saw the color
I continued to scour all the parts of my upper body that were not covered by clothing to find more red and locate the opening.
Locate the opening
Find the passage through which my insides, cells that had been generated in the marrow within my bones, were escaping.
Hematocyte leaving their warm and ever-circulating home through a puncture in my skin to die in an uninhabitable world.
Gathered together both red and white (but to me as a whole, a much larger observer only seeing that beautiful brilliant red) dying in indistinguishable numbers.
But I could not find the opening.
Not a cut, gash, sore, or ulcer to be found on my surface.
Right now I am on a plane somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. I have never been this far west before in my life. The farthest west I had ever been before now was Las Vegas Nevada. This was only a couple weeks ago and I did a couple things that I am a little ashamed of there. However putting those things into context with other things that I have done in my life which have made me feel a little shameful, I would have to say that this past trip to Las Vegas was relatively tame. My plane is heading to Hong Kong. Once I get to Hong Kong I am going to try to meet up with my co-worker Wei who said he will meet me in the airport. I will not have a working cell phone when I get off the plane so I will get to experience the way that people used to have to try to meet up with each other in the 80’s and in earlier times. Considering that there was a day when people were able to thrive without the use of cell phones I am trying to keep my anxiety about not having a cell phone at a minimum. If/When I find Wei (and I think he might be with a girl named Laura) I will first want to go to the long term hotel place that I will be staying to drop off my luggage and then we will board a train to Shenzhen. We have a conference to speak at on the 21st in Shenzhen. Then on the 23rd we have another conference to speak at in Beijing. Besides these two conferences I will be spending most of the summer studying battery reliability and prognostics at the City University of Hong Kong.
I am excited about blogging from Hong Kong. I really hope that I am able to have interesting stories to share with people. I want the stories to be interesting enough that when people check my blog they will want to come back and read future posts of mine. I have been using google analytics to monitor my tumblr account so I am able to see the number of people that have looked at my blog and I am able to tell if they are new or returning users. I think both new and returning users are valuable. New users mean that by some mechanism, your blog is propagating through the internet…returning users mean that your blog wasn’t piss dull enough to make people never want to visit your site again. Both new and returning users make me feel happy.
When I imagined myself flying on the plane to Hong Kong, I imagined myself writing my first blog entry on the plane itself. Right now I am making those imaginations come true. I am typing all of this in a word document and I plan to copy and paste this to my tumblr account the next time I get a chance to have an online connection. Because I am just on the plane and have yet to step foot in China, all I have are preconceived notions. Everyone tells me that I will be the tallest person in China. I am 6’6” and there really aren’t that many people that are taller than me in the US so I would only have to assume that I would be an above average height in China. I also have heard that because I am tall and white people will easily notice me and probably want to come up and talk to me. I hope that that happens because I happen to be quite fond of attention and I think that being able to meet people without exerting much effort would make me feel good inside. I have also heard that girls will want to fuck me. That would be nice attention as well.
As part of my sabbatical to China I have decided I would take no nicotine or buy no nicotine this entire summer in an attempt to kick the habit I have had since I was 18 years old. I am starting the feel the inner wincing of an addict’s crave but it helps to think about these symptoms pleasurably. Like the kind of wanting you feel when you are in the midst of foreplay with a woman and you begin to desire sex. The desire feels good and the want is there but you are also happy in the moment. I am doing something like that now on this plane wanting skoal or a camel Turkish gold.
The last thing I did before I left my home country was download a book of Cantonese phrases on my Kindle. It surprises me how fast the kindle is able to wirelessly download books. I like this book because the authors are kind of funny. Their names are Nick Theobald and Bill Loh. For example in the beginning of the book they talk a little bit about phonetics and when they are writing the Cantonese translations of phrases they say how you are supposed to pronounce the word in reference to a known English word. For the phrase How Much the Cantonese translation is Gay door cheen then to explain how to pronounce it they wrote:
Gay – the opposite of straight
Door- that’s right, door
Cheen – same sound as keen
I thought that was funny for some reason. Maybe I thought it was a little canny for some reason. They also have a section in the book that is dedicated to phases that can be used for romance and they say how to ask a girl to go home with you. I think it would be interesting to have sex with a girl you couldn’t vocally communicate with. Also in the book whenever they want to incorporate a phrase with a name like how to say, my name is____ they often use Nick to fill in the black because that is one of the author’s names (and it is also my name)!
I thought of another preconceived notion that I had of china that I was wondering about. I know that there is internet censorship in mainland china so I’m thinking for the first week while I’m in mainland china I won’t be able to check my facebook account. This makes me a little sad because today is my birthday and I know that I will have a lot of birthday messages to me that I wish I could respond to. I’m wondering if twitter and tumblr will also be blocked. I’m just wondering how long it will be before I am actually able to post this blog. Hong Kong is a part of china but it is under slightly different rule…it is kinda its own city state and it is a little more liberal than mainland china so I will actually be able to access all those websites when I am in Hong Kong. I’m just not sure if I will be able to do it when I arrive because we will be leaving for Shenzhen so soon.
My mom asks a lot of questions and thinks of a lot of scenarios (she worries a lot) and one preconceived notion that she had was if our America plugs will fit in Chinese outlets (aka will I be able charge my laptop and kindle). It’s a good thought cause in Europe, they have rounded plugs and outlets so you would need an adapter to charge an American electronic device. I thought about asking someone in the airport if they knew the answer to this question and I took out my kindle charger so that I could point at the plug and ask a Chinese person if they had outlets that would fit this but as soon as I looked at the plug of my kindle charger I saw that it had Chinese letters written on it and in small print it said “made in china” I took this to mean that I would probably be able to find an outlet to plug my kindle into and I ended up not asking anyone.
I’m going to take a lot of pictures in the next week. I wanted a re-occurring theme in my pictures and I think what I’m gonna do is have this paper origami stork as a center piece of some of my pictures. The paper stork was something that my friend Stephanie made for me a while ago. I hope she doesn’t think that it’s weird that I decided to keep it and take it to china with me.
So I am now in Shenzhen and I wanted to address a few of the things that I had written above before I posted this on tumblr.
Upon arrival it doesn’t seem like people were as spell bounded at my tallness as I was expecting them to be. Turns out people in Asia are just as normal as people in the US I suppose. Nobody has at this point randomly come up to me to ask me questions…except the taxi drivers outside of the Shenzhen train station that want to take you places. I really haven’t even noticed anyone taking double looks or extended glances at me…it’s like I fit in perfectly…like I belong here J
Also the electrical outlets in Hong Kong are different than in the US…and the outlets in mainland China are different than both the US and Hong Kong…but in our hotel in Shenzhen they actually have 2 outlets…and one of them is able to fit the US plugs…except it only works for the 2 prong outlets and not the 3 prog with the ground. Wei had a converter so I’m using that now (it was able to fit my third prong)
Also, as I am now in mainland china…when I try to go to facebook or twitter the pages are censored (which is what I expected). However surprisingly I am allowed to look at gmail, tumblr, and okcupid.
Right now i’m in a slump. I have no motivation or inspiration and I come to okcupid to help me think of things to write. Particularly, i try to answer the questions that okcupid uses to match people as topics to write about. I’m feeling somewhat disappointed now because this question is asking me if I chew gum. I think out of all the questions I’ve answered on okcupid this seems to me to be the most irrelevant.
I don’t chew gum often. I don’t know why. I do tobacco a lot and sometimes I wish that I could trade doing tobacco a lot for chewing gum because chewing gum seems like it would lead me to my death somewhat slower. Right now i’m looking at an ad on the right side of this okcupid screen and it is an ad for Dentyne Ice. I’m wondering if it’s a coincidence that this ad came up while i’m responding to a question about gum or if it was generated purposefully by a meticulous targeted advertisement algorithm. I wonder how much money okcupid makes off of these ad placements. I suspect it does well because it is able to offer a great dating service at no charge.
When I do chew gum I don’t throw it out when the flavor is gone. I chew it and chew it until it shrivels, loses it’s flavor and goes hard. Then I continue to chew it more. I chew it until my jaw feels sore. I like having things in my mouth. I told my dentist about this and she said that maybe I had an oral fixation. I would maybe chew gum more to quench my oral fixation but I prefer biting my finger nails and then pushing the finger nail clippings in between my bottom two front teeth. I get a weird pleasure and gratification from having something in between my bottom two front teeth. Finger nail clippings are not my favorite thing to do it with but they are often the most accessible. My favorite thing to use is a straw (mcdonalds straws are prime). First I bite the straw a little so that it is flat and then I put the straw in between my two bottom front teeth. I think I might be the only person in the world that feels pleasure from this. I was watching a tv show about a girl who really liked to each chalk…she maybe gets the same type of gratification I get only her obsession is a little bit more strange than mine.
I like blowing bubbles when I have gum. With some types of gum it is hard to blow bubbles. The type of gum that comes in a ‘stick’ is usually hard to blow big bubbles with. In this case I will try to make a small bubble with the gum inside my mouth (so that no one else can see the bubble) and then pop it so that it makes an audible sound. Gum like bazoka gum that comes in a rectangle shape is better catered towards blowing large bubbles.
If you had to name your greatest motivation in life thus far, what would it be?
I choose wealth here because you can only choose one. I would say that love, wealth, expression, and knowledge are all significant motivating factors in my life. If I had to weight each factor on its particular level of influence, they would all roughly contribute evenly to my over-all life motivation, however I did choose wealth as my answer, and i did so particularly because I would say that wealth weights slightly higher than the other three.
Do little kids really dream about being fire fighters when they grow up? That seems so alien to me. All of my dreams of my future as a child involved me having a job that made a lot of money. I know i wanted to be a professional baseball player a lot when i was really young..also would have liked to be a professional actor or musician, or even from middle school I remember wanting to be an aerospace or electrical engineer. While the jobs all appealed to me on a working level, I think at a young age I developed the sense that having a lot of money would make for a better life…a more free life, and that made me a little sensitive to the incomes of particular occupations. Pop songs, spiritual leaders, and idealist poets will claim that money does not buy happiness. This may be the case, and in extreme circumstances a very wealthy person can become reclusive and dissatisfied with life. But I also think (being someone who has lived both from pay check to pay check, and with a couple g’s stashed in the bank) that having money lifts a certain burden and relieves a certain stress which makes living a happy life much easier.
That being declared, the other 3 answers cannot go without mention because they have also played a significant roll in my life’s motivation. Knowledge in particular. Being as that I’m almost 27 and have spent nearly 3/4 of my life as a student, knowledge would seem to be a no brainer (haha). Truth is, I can’t keep my eyes open when i sit in a lecture. I even went to see Richard Dawkins talk one time and feel asleep. Its hard for me to listen to people talk and pay attention long enough to understand what they say. When I learn things, i lean them by reading books..in class i learn by completing homework assignments. I learn when i get a chance to look at things and figure them out for myself. I have a romantic/personal relationship with knowledge. I feel that our reason for being can be uncovered with knowledge. In the same vein that a sports fan would idolize wayne gretzky or jerry rice, or a music fan would idoize Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart or Phil Collins, I idolize isaac newton and Pierre-Simon Laplace, and alan turing.
Love…ahh love…I told a girl one time that she motivated me to become successful so that I could be with her and pay for her to travel and do whatever she wanted. When I feel in love..I feel empowered and motivated beyond belief. Without a doubt love can be a driving force that inspires and motivates great work. I find it easier to write songs when I have been moved by love (weather it is finding or losing love). There is an important distinction that should be made though, because it is lost in the context of this question. For some people love is the motivation for their life, they want, above all, to find true happiness in a person. This is NOT how I am motivated..I am not motivated to find ever lasting love with a person…In stead, love motivates me to do other things…things that I feel are even greater than the power of love.
And lastly expression. I saved expression for last because..it seems a little off…like a little off as a life motivation..expression. I think “experience” would fit better here. I read the book ‘conversations with god’ which explained the meaning of our existence as the universe’s attempt to experience itself. If life is broken down to it’s fundamental components…you can sum life up as a collection of experiences and nothing more. And the best way to gain experiences is to simply express yourself. Maybe the motivation of life is just to make sure that these experiences and expressions you are choosing for yourself are ones that you will enjoy and find meaningful.
Could you date someone who already has children from a previous relationship?
Yes, cause i’ve done this before. The last girlfirend I had had a kid. We dated for like a year and a half or so and then we broke up. It was kinda weird cause after dating someone and being around their kid for a while it’s like…well she (the girl i was dating) would have never expected me to step into the father roll or anything…cause the kid already had a father and stuff…but there is still a little feeling that you get just…from dating someone with a kid that makes you feel like you should be at least a little bit of a role model/adult or a figure in that child’s life. And when it comes to the point where it is clear that you and the girl that you are dating wouldn’t be happy living the rest of your lives together…(even tho that is fine and I wish you and your child all the best). But when it does come to that point that you have to split..it is a little weird cause you are also sorta leaving the kid too…and it’s an unexpected feeling you have..someone not too far out of college that has never ever wanted to have a child and would rather not get married or anything…to find yourself in a situation where you were somewhat of a role model “father figure” (but not really) in this kids life and now you have to leave and never explain to her why or anything…I mean it’s not really that big of deal.. But it does weigh a little on you…But not that much where it’s that big of a deal I just wanted to let anyone know that might be thinking of dating anyone with a kid that it’s one of those situations that you would never foreseeing yourself in. Your just there, a normal break up…but with the added suckyness of feeling like a guy that just walked out on his family…even though they weren’t really your family.
I think…tonight my friend told me that I need to grow up. And yes I think he is right…I’m defiantly not mature and I defiantly wanted to go out and do mdma tonight…even tho I didn’t…and even tho I never have before but the reason I want to is because I’m desperate as fuck to be part of the alt lit movement and thought it would help me better…connect man…connect….yeah connect.
I want everyone who visits my okcupid profile to know exactly how I look regardless of what my current facial and scalp hair situation is. If i get more old or get mouth cancer and have to have half my face cut off…or I get into a tragic accident where I have to get a glass eye, or lose my teeth..then I will update my profile picture to make it better represent how I look.
The above pictures were all taken recently, within the past 4 months or so. I can look any of these ways. When I look in the mirror sometimes I think that I look better than other times. I like the way I look better with more scalp hair and more facial hair..but not too long of a beard. My favorite way to look is the picture of me in the top right corner of the above picture. My least favorite way to look is completely shaved facial hair and very short scalp hair (like in the bottom left corner of the above picture).
No matter how my hair is oriented I can usually…if I look at myself in the mirror long enough, find myself to be attractive. Because I have such a high value of myself regardless of how I am groomed, I don’t care which one of these ways I look at any given time. But i do care about what a girl that wanted to date me on okcupid thinks of me.
So I want any girl on okcupid to know that I will change the way that my hair looks to best look the way that she wants me to look. I want to be a manikin. I want to be the barbie-girl described in aqua’s song only the ken version.
I want recognition, I want there to be a wikipedia page about my life that people read 100 years after I’m dead. I want the “biography” section of my wiki article to be accurate. I want there to be a movie made about my life starting Max Casella..or whatever the closest actor to Max Casella is 100 years after I die. I want the movie to take liberties as far as the historical accuracy of my life so that the general audience of the movie is very captivated. However, I want the movie to stick close enough to the accurate depiction of my life so that when people go on wikipedia to see which parts of the movie were real and which parts were fake they are still impressed by the parts that wikipedia tells them is real.
I want there to be no misconception about the way that I look.
In the past I have had more of a rotation, I would shave my head, then i would let it grow out, then i would get a normal barber shop cut, then i would let it grow out, then i would go back to shaving my head. This basicly made it so I only had to go to the barber shop once every 9 months which is fairly pragmatic. But now…currently I look most like the picture in the bottom right and i’m gonna try to go back to the way i look in the top right.
On my okcupid user profile, this is my “self summary.”
I’m not interesting or funny or nice or smart you probably will not like me…why are you still reading this? Love isn’t real, nothing is real. I like negative energy and negative space and outter space and space balls and candy and sex. I don’t like sex. I think not talking is funny I think everything is funny I think everything is hilarious I’m jelous awwww Lets go out on a date! I don’t like spelling things I don’t like doing things I want to sit in a chair adjacent you and look into your eyes and feel how rediculous the idea of love and friendship and communication and religion and now and eternity and candy and running on the beach with no shoes on and greif and being and saying and doing and sex is.
There is a chance that maybe one or two people (this estimate is based on the average plays per day I get on sites like http://soundcloud.com/nwilliard which I would assume has a considerably higher following because I promote it much more) have been following this blog.
If you have, then I apologize because I am taking a small break in form…which has been me posting answers to questions I find on the dating site okcupid.com.
I do this because I noticed a tweet by user Beachsloth, which read “is social networking a sport?”
A little background. I have of late, been completely fascinated by the small but growing movement alt lit. Before I go on, I must name the 5 (to me) most relevant people in alt lit.
Tao Lin (father of alt lit)
Megan Boyle (previous wife of tao lin and blogger)
Bebe Zeva (18 year old fashion prodigy with ties to tao lin)
Andrea Coates (blogger http://www.andreacoateswritingjunk.com up and comer in the alt lit movement (which itself is an up and coming movement). First blogger that I’ve come across that I would consider part of the alt lit movement, but with a style that is starkly different from tao lin’s. This is duly noted because there have been many lamestreamers (assuming within my realm, alt lit is mainstream) blatently imitating the minimalist, autisticesque style of tao lin.)
I came across this movement by stalking people I had known previously on facebook. I went to high school with Megan Boyle. We were in drama together. We didn’t really hang out much outside of drama and class but I always thought she was a cool girl. When I stumblecored across her facebook page, I noticed an excessive amount of links on her wall which took me to interviews of her. I quickly realized that she was soon to be releasing a book of poetry titled, “SELECTED UNPUBLISHED BLOG POSTS OF A MEXICAN PANDA EXPRESS EMPLOYEE .”
I thought it was neat that someone that I had known was receiving attention for publishing a poetry book. This quite naturally lead to more facebook stalking which quite predictably lead me to tao lin.
It is very hard to discern weather tao lin is an idiot savant or just an average writer with a remarkable knack for becoming famous (as I believe he will in time). This gives him a mysterious quality. However, one of his niches, is that he is excessively honest. To the point where he has no filter between his subconscious and his typing fingers. He has blogged explicitly of his sex life and drug use and has no qualm in twitting whatever nonsensical jargon comes to his mind at any given time. This mysterious yet honest persona is the epitome of hipster irony. His credibility as a writer can be attributed to his 9,397 followers on twitter (who I compare with my other D list celebrity obsession JD Samson who has 12,621 followers) his wikipedia page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tao_Lin, and his 8 published books (novellas, poetry books, and richard yates).
Megan Boyle is related to tao lin because somehow they got involved and decided to sporadically get married in Vegas. I believe (but i’m not sure) that this is the same trip to Vegas in which they interviewed Bebe Zeva.
The Bebe Zeva interview was for a documentary/film produced by http://www.mdmafilms.org/ which is a film company jointly started by Tao and Megan/Megan and Tao (to avoid gender stereotypes). According to wiki Bebe Zeva is:
But her real rise to prominence (at least in the alt world) was through her relationship with blogger Carles of http://www.hipsterrunoff.com/. Hipsterrunoff (HRO) was to alt lit what John Brown’s raid on Harpers Ferry was to the the civil war… a precursor. (HRO just recently, after posting an opinion peace on the web phenomena #KONY was hacked and there was fear that the site would be lost forever. Happily tho, I just checked the url and the site was back up and running :).) Bebe Zeva and Carles developed a weird (weird as in pedophilic weird) online relationship. This relationship became somewhat publicized http://thoughtcatalog.com/2010/hipster-runoff-carles-bebe-zeva/ within the forming crowd of bloggers which would ultimately come to define the alt lit movement.
I do not mention Carles in my top 5 most relevant (to me) people in alt lit because i have a sneaking suspicion (despite irrefutable evidence to the contrary http://nyulocal.com/entertainment/2009/04/22/tao-lin-chats-with-carles-of-hipster-runoff-world-explodes/) that tao lin and Carles are the same person. Mysterious right? This stems from the fact that it seems impossible to find a picture online of this person Carles and Tao Lin’s novel Richard Yates is a story that one could quite possibly conceive is an autobiographical account of his and Bebe Zeva’s weird online relationship (not really sexual tho, i don’t mean to implicate tao as a child molester). Adding to the impressiveness of tao lin (assuming that tao and carles are the same person), the writing style of him and carles are worlds apart. Carles being a much more identifiable human entity where tao writes as if he is some enigma void of a human soul.
It’s weird how some casual facebook stalking lead me to an obsession with tao lin and this indy lit movement (which i don’t really find at all innovative…as a matter of fact I see tao lin as an east coast charles bukowski). So much so that I was excited when beachsloth followed me back on twitter (unlike tao who is too good to follow more than 30 people at a time (a high following to follower ratio on twitter is a sign of blogosphere dominance).) After forming a generally high opinion of beachsloth and his tastes I decided to explore some of the other blogs he had reviewed. That is when I came across Andrea Coates.
I want to co-star with her in a psychedelic, plot driven, dominatrix porn. She’s an energetic (almost manic) blogger, author, kinda film maker, who i see as an up and comer in the world of alt lit. She came to prominence (and i use the term prominence loosely because at 102 twitter followers she only has 10 more followers than me, not to mention I have a better followers to following ratio) when Beach sloth reviewed a blog of hers http://andreacoates.blogspot.com/2011/12/blog-post.html titled “throw the tao lin.” If nothing else, you have to admit it is a witty blog title. Andrea, rejects the soothingly simplistic writing style of tao and supplements it with highly technical and erratic prose; Yet it still conforms to the indy, self-aware, “search to be relevant” attributes which embodyalt lit.
Andrea is on par with tao as far as her arrogance, attention hunger and desire to be famous. The above mentioned blog post of her’s was a direct challenge to tao lin. A duel for the throne of alt lit. However it is a challenge that sadly will not be taken seriously. At least not now…not while she still lives in Canada. As of now she is only in the minor leagues of alt lit and who knows if she’ll ever get drafted?
That brings me back to Beachsloth’s tweet, “is social networking a sport?” If it is, then this present post is a game. My sporting equipment is facebook, twitter, and tumblr. If Andrea Coates is in the minor leagues, then I am trying out for my highschool team…and I have a reputation of being a drama nerd…a lamestreamer with no hopes to ever gain indy relevance.
Fortunately for me, I know more than the majority of americans about battery technology and it is leading me to a phd in mechanical engineering…bro.
I like to talk a lot sometimes, if i’m really excited to tell people something I’ll talk about it to the point where it makes people around me feel annoyed. But that only happens every once in a while. Most often I contribute to conversation in what feels to me like the socially acceptable norm. In other less common circumstances I’ll be feeling kinda sad and stupid (it is usually unprovoked and just me being annoying and sad for no reason) and I will talk less than what is normal. In these instances I could be considered a quiet person.
I don’t consciously control the amount of dialog that I contribute to a conversation, usually I will listen to the things that are being said around me and respond with whatever comes naturally to my head. If thoughts don’t naturally come to my head I will just remain quiet. It’s weird that being sad or excited has an influence on how often your brain will decide to give you material to add to a conversation. It is also weird how if the amount of material that you contribute to a conversation deviates above or below the normal amount you contribute, people will give you attention. In the case of excitement/over-contribution the attention you get will be in the form of return-excitement if the other people around you mutually care about the reason that you are excited. If the people who are around you don’t care about why you are excited they will pretend like they care for a certain period of time and if you continue to talk about it they will subtly convey their disinterest. If you don’t catch these subtle hints and continue to talk they will eventually be more direct about expressing their disinterest in what you are saying. In the case of sadness/under-contribution people will sometimes say things like “you’re being quite what’s the matter?” Then you have no idea what to respond with because your brain isn’t naturally bringing things to say to your head. In this case you might just say something like, “ohh no just you know hanging out.” Unless you have something that is actually making you sad then you might tell the person what is wrong. But in my case, I live in a first world nation and I’ve been blessed from head to toe with good looks, intellect, talent, good family and friends. So when I get depressed it’s over things that are really insignificant and me being upset over them really makes me a huge douche bag.
When I think about a quiet person I think that this is a person whose normal amount of contribution to a conversation is much smaller than average. Because their average is so small, it makes it hard to tell weather the person is sad based on their lack of talking. On the other extreme when a quite person is excited about something and they talk a lot, it would be very easy for people around them to pick up on their excitement. Therefore a quite person would be perceived by the people around them as feeling either normal or excited, and not ever sad. Having a person around me that doesn’t ever appear to be sad seems like it would make me feel better about life because I’ve heard that the people around you have a big influence on how you feel. This is one reason that I would date someone who is really quiet.
The other reason I would date someone who is really quiet is the awkward pause. Usually if you are alone with someone on a date, especially if you’ve just met the person and you haven’t experienced enough events together to have an unlimited number of things to talk about, you will experience a pause in your conversation. Even if you go though one date where conversation is sustained and everything seems to be going fine, you will eventually hit a period where you can’t seem to think of anything fast enough to avoid a sustained pause in a conversation. This may happen on the 2nd or 3rd date (after all the usual ice breaking topics have been expired) but it will eventually happen because no two people can be together and talk all the time. I feel like the key to a good relationship would be to be with someone who you can feel comfortable with even during silence. I think that might be an interesting thing to try for a first date. Meet someone out for dinner and agree not to say a single word to each other the entire time. That way you can get over the discomfort that might accompany any future silents that occur later in the relationship. If anyone would like to try to go on a date without saying any words let me know. That would be fun.
Once you're intimate, how often would you and your significant other have sex?
About every other day
Once or twice a week
A few times a month or less
This question assumes a steady rate of sex throughout an entire relationship. I have noticed in previous relationships that in the beginning I have had sex quite frequently but as the relationship matured sex tended to occur over larger intervals of time. I guess if the frequency of sex with respect to length (in days) of the relationship were a mathematical function it would look something like f(t) = 1/t. But to me I don’t think it is too important.
I have had a threesome once…it lasted maybe 30 seconds. There was a good deal more than 30 seconds of sexual interaction (it involved 2 girls and 2 guys where we switched sexual partners halfway through) but there was only 30 seconds of time where I was making contact (in a sexual manner) with two women at the same time. I have had anal sex with 2 women. I have been on the receiving end of a strap-on dildo and a couple of other toys that are traditionally considered for women. I have engaged in “water sports” as the term is sometimes called. I have had sex with 22 women, 3 of them were semi-long term girlfriends of mine, 3 of them were solicited, the other 16 were either one night stands, girls that i was “kinda” dating, girls that I knew that were mutually DTF but weren’t interested in having a relationship, and girls that I knew that liked me but I just wanted to use them for sex. The last category of girls I feel a slight amount of remorse about, but I have also experienced the same thing in a roll reversal situation where I was the one falling in love and they were the ones using me. I feel that morality has a vague (yet not absolute) tendency to even people out as t approaches infinity. I have had two sexual experiences with men in my life. Both experiences only went as far as oral contact…(haha faggot).
I feel blessed because I have been able to take part in all the sexual acts I had hoped to experience without serious consequences (children or STDs). However I do acknowledge that sexual freedom does come with a considerable amount of risk which can weigh heavy on your personal health and morality.
I am coming up on 27 years. Based on [D.P. Schmitt et. al/ “Is there and early 30’s peak in female sexual desire? Cross-Sectional evidence form the United States and Canada.” The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, Vol 11 (1) Spring 2002], women reach a sexual peak on average between ages 30 and 34 while men feel much more sexually removed at the same point in their life. At almost 27, I feel as if I have begun to hit the down slope in the sexual desire metric while women in my similar age category seem to be a lot more willing to have sex with me. I have not reached a point yet where I want to stop taking advantage of the fact that women are much more willing to fuck me now than when I was in college, but I have begun to face a realization that a much more rewarding life may be achieved through a deep monogamous relationship. Yet i still have a small problem taking the idea of “being in a relationship” serious. I think it is because, more than anything, I want to be famous, and rich, and respected as an intellectual, and the values I have adopted in an attempt to attain these means do not quite align with traditional family values.
Sex with my significant other is important and I would be happy to have sex often, however I feel completely satisfied with masturbation and porn. Often I have found that sex results in me on top in a missionary position working with extreme physical assiduity to achieve a goal that could be much easier reached with streaming videos, some spit, and my hand. However, when my partner seems to be avoiding sexual contact with me it makes me feel somewhat unsettled in terms of the strength of our relationship.
I guess what i am saying is that it would be nice to find a perfect balance between sex and time and all other matters of a relationship. But it’s more complex than what can be conveyed by a multiple choice question. I think once or twice a week as a rough approximation as the average amount of sex I’d like to be having with my significant other over the course or a long relationship is the best answer.
I’m not famous enough, I’m not rich enough, I don’t have a love of my life, I work a lot, when i’m not working i feel unproductive, I work in a technical field but i think I’m more of a creative and artistic person but I don’t think that creative and artistic people do anything to advance society. I think that people who think they are actually improving this world with art are stupid. I like writing and making music and doing artistic stuff and every time i see someone who is famous for doing or making something that I feel like I could have done it makes me depressed and frustrated. There is nothing that makes me happy. Why am I on okcupid? I’m not likable. Girls just want to fuck me and leave. I haven’t hung out with my friends from high school in a long time and I wonder if they still like me. I have lost the joy in having sex with people I don’t love. I lie to people about smoking cigs. I came across this obscure writer who lives in Brooklyn who married a girl i went to high school with. His name is tao lin and I hate him but for some reason i’m obsessed with him and want to write depressing stupid things the way he does.
Not that my opionion of myself is bloated but I just look around and see all these assholes everywhere. Like it’s humorus to read things people write on this site and facebook and twitter and see people take themselves so seriously. I was eating lunch today and heard some nerds talking about IBM like they knew shit…fuck those guys. And I see girls walking around just doing normal stuff, and fuck them too. Why? I don’t know. I can’t even explain it. I want to write a poem titled “everyone I see is an asshole” I’m an asshole too tho. What does this have to do with why my self confidence is so high? I don’t know fuck you. Wanna go out on a date?
For you personally, is abortion an option in case of an accidental pregnancy?
If I got a girl pregnant and I really hated her and was not attacted to her at all and she wanted to keep it, I would probably kill myself. Is killing yourself more or less immoral than having an abortion? I guess that all depends on your background/beliefs, but i know I would prefer not to die. I also don’t think that this question is pertinent for men. Abortion is a women’s issue and personally I think that it should be totally her choice. And it should be my choice to kill myself if I wanted. I mean, i don’t really want to kill myself. Also this whole passage as been rather facetious. I’d probably man up and try to be a good father in that situation but it’s probably easier for okcupid to let me know if a girl that I was about to have sex with was down for having an abortion if it came to that. I’m defiantly pro-choice and I don’t think that fetuses have souls or feel any developed “human” form of pain. Also I think that having children before you’re ready can have a very negative impact on your life. I’m also gay so I don’t have to worry about this. Haha Just kidding no i’m not…but that’s gotta be a pretty sweet advantage to being gay. I guess there’s adoption too. But honestly I think that’s more fucked up…to go and create a baby (actually bring it into the light of day) and then hand it over to an adoption agency. I think that is more wrong than terminating the pregnancy in the beginning cause you’re not starting out this human life on a disadvantaged path of low income juvenile delinquency. You should wait till you’re ready and give your offspring the best best chance of a good life as you can (it’s more of a sin than abortion not to). If my mom would have had an abortion with me I don’t think I would have cared. I don’t think it would have ever mattered to me or to the world in general. I think the would would be a similar place as it is now without me.
I’m on okcupid…I think dating sites are kinda funny/not that serious but one thing i like about okcupid is that they have questions that you can answer and write explanations about them. I try to make explanations that will make me sound pompous and unattractive to normal people. Well not pompous I just like to answer them with extreme honesty and sometimes when i’m feeling a little emo or frustrated with the world the explications come out funny a little bit, and i wanted to share them with people outside of the world of okcupid.
So i decided to make a tumblr account where i can post the answers to my okcupid questions. Eventually i think i’ll get tired of this theme and i will move on to something else to blog about. k alright